The Little Mermaid, Harry Potter Style
by Snake Staff
Summary: This is a version of the Little Mermaid, done with Harry Potter characters. DISCONTINUED
1. First Meeting

hThe Little Mermaid, Harry Potter Style

Roles:

Ariel-Harry

Prince Eric-Ginny, not related to Ron in this

Ursula-Lord Voldemort

Flotsam and Jetsam-Lucius Malfoy and Yaxley

King Triton-James Potter

Sebastian and Flounder-Ron and Hermione

The Trident-the Elder Wand

The Chef-Mantano (my only original character, added for the comedy)

This story takes place so that Harry, on land, falls in love with Ginny, the mermaid. I pretty much just swapped land with sea because I find it hard to picture it the other way around. This began when I got a mental image of Voldemort singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and from there it just snowballed.

Disclaimer: I own neither the Little Mermaid nor Harry Potter, though I wish I did. Almost all the jokes are mine, though.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Harry Potter was walking down the beach when he saw a storm coming. He hid behind a rock until the very brief storm blew over. When he looked out from behind it, he saw in shock that a mermaid was lying on the beach, apparently knocked out. Harry whipped out his wand and levitated the mermaid back into the sea. Just as she began to wake up, he turned tail and ran. She caught nothing more than a brief glimpse of her rescuer.

Ginny, as the mermaid was called, went back down to her undersea home. She told her parents about her mysterious rescuer. Merpeople knew little of humans, you see, so her parents could offer no help. She went to bed that night dreaming of that handsome human boy.

Harry went to bed wanting to learn all that he could about mermaids. The next day, he began collecting things about mermaids and keeping them in his closet. His two best friends, Hermione and Ron followed him there one day when they saw him carrying a book on mermaids. When they got there, they were amazed.

Harry then told them the story of this mermaid and explained that was why he was trying to learn about them.

Harry said, "You guys have to keep this a secret from dad, he hates mermaids."

Ron replied, "Don't worry, your secret is safe with us. Right Hermione? Hermione?"

But Hermione had gone. A few minutes later, King James Potter, Harry's dad, burst into the huge closet. He raged when he saw what his son had been collecting. He raised his Elder Wand and blasted the place to pieces around Harry and Ron.

King James yelled at the top of his voice, "Darn you boy! Haven't I always told you that mermaids are evil!"

"But dad…"

"No buts, I'm smashing all of this stuff!" James continued destroying Harry's treasures with his Elder Wand. When it was all destroyed, he disappeared in a brief flash.

Voldemort had been watching all of this with his crystal ball.

"Finally, here is a chance to get revenge for my banishment all those years ago! King James will regret what he did! Lucius, Yaxley! Come here right now! No listen boys, here's how the plot will play out…"

………………………………………………………………………………………………

A few minutes later Lucius and Yaxley appeared in Harry's room, where he had been crying really hard.

"Poor child" said Lucius.

"Poor sweet child" said Yaxley.

"He's got a very serious problem."

"If only…"

"There were something…"

Both, "We could do."

Lucius said, "But wait, there is something!"

Harry said, "What? What could you do?"

Yaxley said, "Voldemort might be able to help you."

Harry started, "You mean that wizard Daddy banished a long time ago?"

Lucius smoothly preened, "Yes, the very same."

Harry suspiciously said, "The same one that used Black Magic to kill Mommy and tried to overthrow Daddy? That Voldemort? You expect me to go to **him** for help?!!!"

Yaxley silkily stated, "He's changed, my sweet child. Besides, what have you got to lose?"

Lucius grinned, "And you have true love to gain."

Both sang, "_Sweet child. Poor child. Sad child._ _We'll take you to his lair right now. Bet in half a sec, your mermaid and you are reconciled. Together. Forever_"

"Take me to him!"

"Heh heh heh. _Sweet child._"


	2. Poor Unfortunate Souls

Chapter 2

A few minutes later, Lucius, Yaxley, and Harry arrived at an enormous cavern. Harry looked at it and seemed a bit reluctant to go in.

Lucius and Yaxley said, "This way" and entered the cavern.

Harry, the love he felt for the mermaid overcoming his fear, walked in after them. On the way in, he saw cages filled with mice, all squeaking desperately.

A voice around the corner said, "Come in. Come in my child. We mustn't lurk in doorways. That's rude."

Harry rounded the corner to see Voldemort waiting for him.

Voldemort said, "Well lets cut to the chase. You're here because you're in love with this mermaid girl. Not that I blame you, she is quite a hottie."

Harry said dreamily, "Yeah, she is."

Voldemort continued, "Well, the solution to that is simple. To get what you want, you must become a merman."

Harry became shocked and the stated, "You can do that?"

Voldemort gave a grin and said, "My dear sweet child, that's what I do. It's what I live for. To help unfortunate people, like yourself."

He began singing, "_I admit that in the past I've been a nasty. They weren't kidding when they called me kinda strange. But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all my ways. Repented, seen the light, and made a change. _True, yes._ I fortunately know a little magic. It's a talent that I always have possessed. And, dear, lately, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable lonely and depressed._"

He whispered to his henchmen, "Pathetic"

Harry said, "What did you just say?"

"Ummm, that was private."

"OK, continue."

" _Poor unfortunate souls. So sad. So true. They come flocking to my cauldron crying, "Spells, Voldemort please!" and do I help them? Yes indeed. Now its happened once or twice, someone couldn't pay the price. And I'm afraid I had to rake em' cross the coals. Yes I've had the odd complaint, but on the whole I've been a saint, to those poor unfortunate souls."_

Voldemort then smiled and said, "OK, here's the deal. I'll turn you into a merman for 3 days. If she gives you the kiss of true love during that time, you'll stay that way permanently. If she doesn't, you turn back into a human and you belong to me."

"That sounds a little frightening."

Another grin. "Don't worry, if it's really true love, you'll get that kiss. Oh, and one other thing, it'll cost you your voice for all this."

"You want my voice?"

"You got it sweet child. No more talking, singing, zip."

"Ummm, why on earth would you want my voice?"

"Uhhhhh, it's very nice sounding. Heh heh heh"

"That's stupid."

"I like your voice."

"Are you sure this isn't just some elaborate plot to use me to overthrow Daddy and take over the kingdom?"

"Of course I'm sure."

"This still sounds very fishy to me."

"Alright, look, you don't have to do this. All it'll cost you is your true love."

"But if I give you my voice then how can I…"

"_You'll have your looks, your handsome face. And don't underestimate the power of body language! The girls down there don't like a lot of blabber. They think a boy who gossips is a bore. Yes down there it's much preferred for men not to say a word. And after all dear, what is idle prattle for? Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation. True ladies avoid when they can. But they dote and swoon and fawn on a man whose withdrawn. It's he who holds his tongue who gets his girl. Come on you poor unfortunate soul! Go ahead! Make your choice! I'm a very busy person and I haven't got all day! It won't cost much, just your voice! You poor unfortunate soul! It's sad, but true! If you wanna cross a bridge, my sweet, you've gotta pay the toll. Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll! Lucius, Yaxley, now I've got him, boys! The boss is on a roll! This poor unfortunate soul!"_

Harry the signed the floating contract. It flew into Voldemort's hands and disappeared. He had been throwing ingredients into his cauldron throughout his catchy song. Now he recited a spell over them

"Beluga, Sevruga

Come winds of the Caspian Sea

Larynxes, glossitis

Et Max Laryngitis

La voce to me"

Huge green hands burst from the cauldron and went to Harry's throat. They took something small and glowing from it. They placed it in a shell around Voldemort's neck. Then a beam of light flew out and engulfed Harry. He watched in amazement as his legs turned into a tail.

Ron and Hermione, who had followed Harry and seen the whole thing, grabbed him and ran to the sea. They tossed him into it, wishing him best of luck. Harry waved back as he found he couldn't speak.

Harry was underwater, struggling to get adjusted to his new tail. A shark suddenly swam straight at him. Harry quickly pulled out his wand and attempted an extremely difficult nonverbal spell. The spell, intended to stun the shark, turned it into a minnow instead.

Harry thought, "That's not what I meant to do but I'll take it."


	3. Voldemort's Past

Chapter 3

Voldemort was sitting in his lair with Lucius and Yaxley after he had turned Harry into a merman and sent him away.

Voldemort said, "Sooooo, I guess we just have to wait a while and intervene if necessary. You boys got anything to do while we wait?"

Lucius replied, "You could tell us the story of how you got banished because we didn't get jobs as your henchmen until after that."

"OK, here's my story. On day I decided that I wanted to rule the kingdom instead of King James. Nothing wrong with that is there? Someone tries overthrowing him every week and he's kinda used to it. Now anyway, I stormed the castle, fought him in a titanic duel, etc. and so on. During our duel his wife came in with cookies and James and I took a break to eat some. Boy, those were good! I accidentally dropped my wand and a killing curse flew out and killed King James' wife. Now that wouldn't have gotten me banished if that had been all."

Yaxley asked, "Then what could you have done to get yourself banished if that didn't do it?"

"King James found out that I defrauded on my income tax. He got so mad that he banished me. That's when I hired you two. The worst bit of being banished is that I have to go grocery shopping online. It's so inconvenient."


End file.
